Now for some people the idea of Valentine’s Day is about the exact opposite of what comes to mind when they think of divorce, but Valentine’s Day has a lot more in common with divorce than many people are aware.
American statistics show that divorce application filings actually increase quite dramatically around Valentine’s Day – some suggesting an increase of up to 40% – so why is the traditional time for love such a prime time for divorce?
There are many theories that abound – some believe that it’s a lag from those who have made a New Year’s resolution to get out of a bad relationship once and for all, others hypothesis that if Valentine’s Day goes badly it can be the nail in the coffin for a bad marriage, still others believe that people look around them and see idealised love everywhere around Valentine’s Day, and if they believe their relationship isn’t up to scratch it can spell the end.
It’s also interesting to note that a German study has suggested that people who marry on Valentine’s Day are more likely to get divorced than those who do it on any other day of the year. Similar results were found in a University of Melbourne study – a staggering increase of 5% in the divorce rate for those who marry on Valentine’s Day by the ninth wedding anniversary!
Many put this down to Valentine’s Day weddings being more impulsive than weddings on other days of the year.
Given the prevalence of divorce in today’s society here are some handy hints and tips on what to do and not do on Valentine’s Day to avoid making a difficult situation (your separation/divorce) even more difficult:
- Avoid contact with the ex unless it is absolutely necessary – it may make you or him/her feel worse and heightened emotions can sometimes lead to problems.
- Avoid social media – it will be filled with images and sentiments from happy or seemingly happy couples which may only serve to make you feel worse – try to unplug for the day.
- Connect with people you love and care about – single friends can be particularly good company, but not if they are going to pine about their lack of a love life!
- Buy yourself flowers, chocolates or that special something that you’ve had your eye on for a while – self-love is a good thing.
- Reflect on where you would like to be in a year’s time, and if that means getting your relationship sorted out so that you are feeling better about where you are in your personal life in the next year consider making a time to see a family lawyer, who with a simple strategy meeting can get you on the right path to farewelling a flailing marriage or putting you in good stead for a new relationship with a pre-nuptial agreement.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself, after all, Valentine’s Day is but one day of the year and unless you empower it, it has no power over you.
About the author: This article has been authored by Jacqueline Brown who is a Perth lawyer and director at Lynn & Brown Lawyers. Jacqui has over 20 years’ experience in legal practice and practices in family law, mediation and estate planning. Jacqui is also a Nationally Accredited Mediator and a Notary Public.